A princess puppy

"Regal Riley"

Since the day we got her she has been a sassy lovable princess puppy. 

“Carry on”

​ 

Some days this is what fibromyalgia feels like. I know it sounds like an over exaggeration but it really does mean I’m almost always in pain. 

Sometimes it’s low enough that I can ignore it. But there are some days where it feels like I’ve been through a battle. I don’t share this because I want pity or anything, really I just want to raise awareness about fibromyalgia. Some still think it isn’t real, even some doctors. And while it’s not fully understood it is a real illness. 

I first started experiencing symptoms when I was about 15. I went to multiple specialist throughout high school who all said I was completely healthy. And yet I was in excruciating pain more often than not. I finally brought up the possibility of fibromyalgia to my doctor and he said “let’s not open that can of worms just yet.”  Which came across to me as he didn’t care and wasn’t going to help. 

I didn’t get an official diagnosis until 12 years later when I was 27. I spent over a decade just gritting my teeth and pushing through the pain, the fatigue, the myriad of random symptoms which then brought on depression and anxiety. To be quite honest I struggled with suicidal ideation at times. I learned unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would stuff my feelings and pain deep down until it erupted all at once. I became an angry person. I almost lost my marriage because of the person I’d become trying to do everything on my own. 

But through all that I can say I would not be alive today if it wasn’t for God. The strength to keep going when everything seemed hopeless was not my own. The peace that came when things were overwhelming was not my own. The radical change and growth I went through during my separation with my wife was not my own. 

I am not cured, or perfect or free of any of the symptoms from before, but when I hit rock bottom and finally truly started to give it to God things started to improve. I was able to learn healthy coping skills. 

God has given me the strength and hope to “Carry on” when life is hard. I may be beaten but I am not defeated. 

So whatever your battle in life, God is waiting for you to turn to Him. You don’t need to clean yourself up, or become a better person to turn to God. He meets you where you are and truly loves you. Trust me don’t wait till you hit rock bottom, it’s not pleasant. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Trying to pivot

So I lost my job recently, which makes one stop and think a bit.  After some thought I've decided that I want to pursue a more creative route, So I am going to be trying to find work as a graphic designer.  These are some designs that I've put together to build up my graphic design portfolio. 

Here's to making things work!

 

Progress on the ship

I've been working on this one for a while now, life has been pretty hectic but I've done what I can when ever I've gotten the chance. This started as a tattoo design for my wife and found its way onto canvas. I'm hoping to finish it soon. 

Circles

Here are some of my latest illustrations that I have been working on for a friend

. I'm still not done but it's been a lot of fun.

Adventure is out there

My wife and I just recently had our first child. She said that he is our greatest adventure and that she wanted to get a tattoo for him. This is what came of that
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Never finished, just abandoned

"Art is never finished, just abandoned." - Leonardo da Vinci

I heard this quote recently and it definitely resonates with me. I never truly feel like I finish a piece but sometimes to move on to something else I just have to abandon it for a while. Sometimes I don't find my way back, but there are a few ideas that I can't help but go back to. This is one of them; Psalm 42:1 is what I want, sometimes I fall short but that's what I want for my life. I want my heart to yearn for God.

“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.”
Psalms 42:1 ESV



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Taking it slow but not giving up

I find myself up late yet again bent over my drawing desk searching for that inspiration I let slip away. I'm going slow on this one but I think that's a good thing. I find myself ruining drawings or paintings because I feel this need to finish it. Instead of taking a break, or thinking it through, I push when I should let go.

So after another late night I've got some of it colored. Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to wrap up the background. But so far I'm liking what I see.

Missed it by that much

So the other night I was having a conversation with my wife, her aunt and her aunts friend when all of a sudden Wham! I have this great idea for another painting, and not only do I have the idea but I have this vivid image in my mind. I wanted so badly to run to my room and grab a sketchbook so I could try to catch this piece of inspiration before it got away, sadly I'm much too polite for that. So instead I continue conversing with them until they leave, all the while holding onto that image as tight as I can as it slowly slips through my fingers. But alas by the time they left all that I had was a shadow of what I had seen. I ended up staying up till 3am that night. This is what came of that. So moral of the story don't let inspiration slip away.

Family name

For some reason I've been drawing anchors a lot recently, and they keep coming up. For example during worship last night there was a line in one of the songs that said " my anchor holds within the veil " and it was relevant in my walk with Christ. It reminded me that Christ is my anchor and as long as I hold fast he will keep me safe through any storm.

Anyway I drew this anchor a couple days ago, and finished the color during some down time at work.

Can't get you out of my mind

So I know this one is very similar to the last one I posted, but I just can't get this idea out of my head. Even this one isn't really done, I've been messing with this one for a few months now. Anyway here it is.

Starting back up

So it's been quite a while since I have posted anything on my blog, and I am working on pursuing my art more than I have been by learning and doing as much artwork on my own as well as looking into workshops and visiting museums and galleries. So I am going to start doing my best to post on here at least once a week.

With that being said, here is something that I did around Christmas time that I was very happy with. The idea had started from psalm 42:1 " as a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God ". I kept drawing different drafts of it because it never felt done. I finally came up with this one but didn't know what I was going to do with it. Christmas was around the corner and I needed to do something. for my fiance's dad. I knew he liked hand made things so this seemed like as good a time as any to use this drawing, plus I had a piece of wood that I had been waiting to use. When I gave it to him he was blown away and it was clear to me that the whole thing had been brought together by God. There were even some hidden meanings that I didn't even realize were in there, but they were definitely meant for him.

After I gave it to him I decided to continue this drawing with two others to make a set that will represent God the father, God the son, and The Holy Spirit.

Christmas

This is the Christmas story.

 Jesus was born of a virgin, He became fully God and fully man. He lived a perfect life, then He died for us to pay the price for our sin. Then He was resurrected  on the third day, and through the resurrection he defeated death. And now He is in heaven preparing a place for us.

garden of eden

So I've been working on this for a couple weeks now. It's a drawing that a friend of mine asked me to do. He wanted Jesus standing with adam and eve with the tree of life in the back. So far it's just the background, but I should be posting the final product soon 

The Garden

tattoo sketch

So I failed at posting a drawing on here once a week; que sera, sera right? 

Anyway here is a sketch of what will hopefully be my next tattoo. I'm probably going to be getting the one on the top. Hope you like it!

Agape

work in progress

so I actually got some painting done today.

This is halloween

I was wanting to draw something for halloween 

so I figured I'd draw one of my favorite disney characters

its a rose...kinda

I had a lot of downtime at work this weekend, so I decided I wanted to draw something similar to my last drawing "The Wolf". I started by using a cd to make the circle, right away the smaller inner circle made me think of an eye so I started with that and it just took off. now when I drew the circle I "messed up" but I remembered hearing a saying that said something along the lines of art is just knowing which mistakes to keep, so I just turned it into rose petals and there went my mistake! Hope you enjoy

"Enthralling"

The wolf

I'm particularly happy with how this one turned out. Usually I can't think of anything to draw, so I was surfing the internet for inspiration when I saw a sugar skull. This caught my attention but I still wanted something else. Finally I had a bright idea. I went onto cleverbot and asked it what I should draw, finally after about ten minutes of talking in circles it said a wolf! so there you have it sugar skull + wolf. 

"The Wolf"

Some of my favorites

So these are some of my favorite pieces, hope you enjoy them too

This one was basically just a doodle. I started with the face and went from there, drawing whatever came to mind basically.

"Gone, Gone, Gone...."

This one started out as a tattoo design for a friend and I loved the sketch so much I had to finish it.

"The Lighthouse"

My representation of being "on fire for the Lord"

"On Fire"

There's not much explanation for this one other than the fact that I wanted to draw a Phoenix 

"Phoenix"

I've always loved trying to interpret verses from the bible to show what I see in my minds eye and this one actually came out good lol

"Revelation 12"

This one was inspired by the worship song "Here is our King". I had already drawn something similar to this and when I was at church one weekend this just popped into my head 

"Unfold"